I’ve never been a “fast” designer. I like to take my time and think things out, and I don’t like rushing the process. Now the little voice in my head (hello, imposter syndrome) might tempt me to see this as a bad thing — that I’m wasting time and not being efficient enough.

To be perfectly honest, I used to be self conscious about needing more time. After all, if I design faster I can take on more clients and isn’t that how I make more money and become more successful? Not necessarily.

As a new mama, I've been slowing down more than ever before. I’ve shared before that it's been really triggering for me to see amazing creatives and business owners launching things and ramping up — meanwhile I'm pumping the brakes.

Hard Work = Success...?

Since I started this business journey over 4 years ago, I've hinged its success on showing up consistently with quality content in service of others. Subscribing to the age-old mindset that hard work is the key to success.

So as I slow WAYYY down in this new unknown season, it's scary. And it's not even about the money.

Like just about everyone else in the world, recently I've been tuning into Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix. And besides cringing at how much junk people collect, picking up some new folding tips and wondering how I can incorporate more long skirts into my wardrobe (jk, leggings forever), what really resonates with me is the value of less stuff and more intention.

These days you can integrate every appliance in your house, use your home security system to spy on the delivery man, and tell Alexa to turn down your thermostat from across the room. And yet we have less time than ever. In a world that champions more, bigger, faster, busier, blah.. it's refreshing to see people go the other way. It's the same reason I can't get enough of all those tiny house shows on HGTV.

Less but better. Simple but intentional.

Remember those glorious days of youth when your calendar was a simple thing? The only schedule you had to worry about was your own. Either you were free, or you weren’t.

In the last few years, so many wonderful things have unfolded in my life. My husband and I got married and bought our first home. In 2016 I started my business and we brought home our beloved pup, Hero. This year, we’re expecting our first little one.

So many blessings and things to be thankful for. But also, a lot more to contend with on the calendar.

I can't tell you how many interviews with creatives I've listened to/watched over the years, and somehow the themes of hustle and never being satisfied always seem to rear their ugly heads. Although the word “hustle” is enough to make me gag these days, it's the idea of never being satisfied that puts a seriously bad taste in my mouth.

Granted, most of those creatives were probably referring their positive drive to always continue learning and improving—honing our skills and expanding our horizons. I'm all for that, but the “never satisfied” phrasing is particularly troubling to me.

In this digital age, we're supposedly more connected than ever, and yet I don't think we've ever felt more disconnected. Our world has never ached so much for community, compassion, and belonging. And so every time we lose another soul too soon, it's salt in our already wide open wounds. I wrote about this a bit after the passing of Kate Spade, but I feel called to share more and go deeper.

For a long time this feeling had been weighing on me—the feeling that I'd outgrown my website and branding. They no longer felt like a good stylistic match for my business. They lacked the depth and complexity I pride myself on building into my clients’ brands. Not to mention, I just plain ran out of room.

Times They were A Changin’

You see, my business has evolved a lot since 2016 and the things that were important to me then were getting in the way of more important areas where I feel called to grow today. I launched my Illustrator Essentials course last July and realized that I had no space for it. I had all these exciting new offerings in the wings and nowhere they could call home.

All of these factors combined to tell me one thing. It was time for a change.

In my early days of working with clients, every single business was a potential client I was dying to land. Every inquiry sent me daydreaming of the best possible circumstances, blinding me to all the red flags ahead. I wanted to help everyone, and that was the problem.

Getting clients is easily one of the most stressful parts of running a business. So much so that most business owners are constantly terrified.

Terrified that the next client won't show up. Terrified of asking too much when they do. Terrified of scaring new business away.

I know. I've been there.

When I first started freelancing, I was afraid to ask too many questions up front in case that shiny new client decided that it was too much work to work with me.