On an ordinary Wednesday, our 6yo son Theo came home from school with a stomach ache. We thought maybe it was a virus or something he ate that didn’t agree with him. I did all the things you do at home to treat an upset stomach — bland diet, rest, lots of checking in. Theo went to bed feeling okay, but the stomach ache persisted. It woke him in the night, and in the morning it was worse.

His stomach hurt more and now he had a fever, was hunching over, the right side of his belly was tender, and it seemed increasingly tough for him to walk and use the bathroom. Luckily, my husband Sam knew early on that something wasn’t right and wondered about his appendix. We took him to Urgent Care, who then referred us to a pediatric ER, and before we knew it, we found ourselves in the same children’s hospital where Theo had surgery to put in ear tubes almost three years earlier during one of the most challenging times in our life.

We watched helplessly through an ultrasound, IV insertion, blood work, and MRI as our little boy grew pale and struggled in pain without understanding what was happening to him.

It all felt too familiar.

I remember when the steps I needed to take in life and business seemed crystal clear. When I could see my path stretching out before me like a game of Candy Land — fun and free and easy. Everything felt so certain, and there was no question of what I needed to do next.

These days, that’s hardly the case.

Six years ago, becoming a mom changed everything for me. Then the pandemic did it again. And then our healing journey with mold. These seasons of struggle and monumental change cracked me wide open and made me question everything I thought I knew. And ever since, my path has felt foggy. Scattered. Uncertain.

I can’t see my next steps stretching neatly out before me anymore, but there is one thing I know I can do when I’m feeling lost or stuck in life and business. One thing that helps me find my path again, even if it’s only the next right step from where I’m standing.

As I write this, our beautiful and brilliant baby girl, Iris Lee, turns 18 months today. My pregnancy was filled with joyful anticipation and planning. I worked hard to dial in my courses and sales funnels to work on autopilot during my maternity leave so I could truly unplug. I assumed I’d be out for 6 months like I was with our firstborn, Theo, and I couldn’t wait for the time away filled with baby snuggles and priceless (though sleep-deprived) moments with my kiddos.

What unfolded was the most difficult season of my life.

One of my all-time favorite quotes is from author Rebecca Campbell, “I believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open because the world needs you open.”

Well, here I am, 18 months later, cracked wide open and finally ready to tell our story.